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Posted 02/21/2023 in Books

"Try Softer" Book Review: A Guide to Dealing with Emotional Pain

In a society that often glorifies the hustle and the constant pursuit of success, Aundi Kolber's debut book, "Try Softer," offers a fresh approach rooted in self-compassion, boundaries, and authenticity. Drawing from the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips readers with the tools to connect with their truest self and embrace a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Try Softer by Aundi Kolber a book Try Softer, she'll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstaclesTry Softer Aundi Kolber -Try Softer Aundi Kolber - A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode

In Try Softer, we will explore the key themes and valuable takeaways from this transformative book, including the impact of survival mode, the power of overcoming the inner critic, establishing emotional and relational boundaries, and understanding how attachment styles affect our relationships today.

About the Book Try Softer: 

Therapist Aundi Kolber defines "trying softer" as “compassionately listening to our needs so we can move through pain--and ultimately life--with more gentleness and resilience” (4). Kolber encourages readers to be gentler with themselves throughout the book. The first section of the book will describe how we become "hardwired" (conditioned or establish a habit) to "white-knuckle" our way through life; the second section will provide resources and skills to help you become more self-compassionate, with a focus on listening to your body's signals. Kolber writes from a Christian perspective, and her purpose is for readers to understand themselves through God's eyes--as beings of infinite value and worth who were created and loved by God.

Embracing "Trying Softer"

The work of paying compassionate attention is, in a sense, learning to steward for ourselves what God already believes about us—that we’re valuable and loved. ~ Aundi Kolber, Try Softer

Kolber's approach is centered around the concept of "trying softer," which encourages readers to be kind to themselves and treat themselves with compassion (link). She highlights the detrimental effects of living in survival mode (link), constantly pushing oneself without regard for personal well-being. By embracing a fresh approach rooted in self-compassion, readers can break free from the grip of their inner critic and find a healthier way to navigate life's challenges.

Understanding the Inner Critic:

Try Softer by Aundi Kolber believes Trying softer is the path that leads to true connection and joy. -

One of the main obstacles addressed in "Try Softer" is the powerful influence of our inner critic. Kolber recognizes that this internal voice often tells us that we are not worthy of self-care, that we are too much, or that our pain is insignificant. By getting curious about the origins of this inner critic and validating our experiences, we can begin to dismantle its harmful influence and cultivate self-compassion.

Establishing Emotional and Relational Boundaries:

Kolber delves into the importance of establishing emotional and relational boundaries for our well-being. She provides practical guidance on how to set boundaries, emphasizing the need to honor our own needs and create space for self-care. By learning how to navigate relationships with healthy boundaries, readers can nurture their emotional health and cultivate fulfilling connections with others.

The Impact of Attachment Styles:

Drawing from her background in psychology, Kolber explores how our attachment style affects our relationships today. She sheds light on how early experiences shape our attachment patterns and influence our ability to establish healthy connections. By understanding our attachment style, we can gain insights into our relationship dynamics and work towards building secure and fulfilling bonds with others.aundi kolber believes you should stop white-knuckle Your Way Through Life And Learn to Try Softer pinAuthenticity and Personal Growth:

Throughout "Try Softer," Aundi Kolber shares her own personal story, providing readers with a relatable and authentic perspective. She emphasizes the importance of embracing our truest selves and finding the courage to live authentically. By integrating practical clinical exercises and drawing from the latest psychology, Kolber guides readers on a transformative journey of personal growth and self-discovery.

Practical Tools for Emotional Well-being

Trying softer is the path that leads to true connection and joy. It begins when we mindfully listen to what's on the inside of us and let that influence how we look and act on the outside. ~ Aundi Kolber, Try Softer

Throughout the book, Kolber provides practical exercises and tools to help readers navigate difficult emotions. She offers techniques such as grounding, containment, and breathing exercises, empowering individuals to develop resilience and effectively process their emotions. Additionally, she emphasizes the importance of self-care and guides readers in creating personalized self-care routines that prioritize their well-being.

Final Thoughts on Try Softer

Trying softer is sacred work. "Try Softer" by Aundi Kolber is a remarkable guide that empowers readers to cultivate self-compassion, establish boundaries, and embrace authenticity. Through her expertise in the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Kolber equips readers with invaluable tools for personal growth. By breaking free from the grips of survival mode, quieting the inner critic, setting emotional and relational boundaries, and understanding the impact of attachment styles, readers can embark on a transformative path towards self-discovery and healthier relationships. If you are seeking a book that will empower you to navigate life's challenges with grace and authenticity, "Try Softer" is an essential read.

You can order Try Softer via amazon or wherever books are sold.  

therapist Aundi Kolber debuts with Try SofterTry Softer Aundi Kolber - A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival ModeTry Softer Aundi Kolber - A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival ModeStrong like Water Aundi Kolber - Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion - anxiety stress and survivalStrong like Water Aundi Kolber - Finding the Freedom, Safety, and CompassionStrong like Water Aundi Kolber - Finding the Freedom, Safety, and CompassionThe Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing by Kolber - stress and survival modeThe Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing by KolberThe Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing by Kolber


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About the Reviewer: 
 A person smiling in front of a brick wall 
Description automatically generated with medium confidenceCorine Williams, Ph.D. is Clinical Psychologist that is currently seeing clients in the States of Maryland, New Jersey, and New York. You can find out more about her practice by visiting www.therapyforchristians.com/corinewilliams. In addition to providing individual therapy, Dr. Williams is also passionate about writing books and designing merchandise that educate, uplift, and normalize mental health subject in the Christian community. You can find out more about her at  www.booksbycorine.com or by visiting her amazon profile here:  https://www.amazon.com/Corine-Hyman/e/B00AWZ5FL2

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