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Posted 04/12/2022 in Books

Feeling Good Together Book Review

Feeling Good Together Book Review

Relationships are fragile. It's actually much easier to have a troubled relationship than it is to have a healthy one. Is this because everyone is bad? Absolutely not! Troubled relationships are an outcome of troubled feelings.

Whether it's with your spouse, parents, siblings,  friends, or boss, every relationship must be handled with care. Maintaining healthy relationships isn't always easy but it is always possible. 

In his book,  Feeling Good Together, The Secret To Making Troubled Relationships Work, Dr. David Burns shows you how to resolve virtually any kind of relationship conflict. The relationship strategies in this book are simple but powerful. However, these powerful techniques also require a lot of hard work on the readers part.

What is the Theory Behind Feeling Good Together

Feeling Good Together is based on Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy.Feel good together Facebook Post This is a radically different method for developing more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you care about. It is based on twenty-five years of clinical experience and new, groundbreaking research involving more than 1,000 individuals. Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy is based on the below principles:

  • "We all provoke and maintain the exact relationship problems that we complain about."

  • "We deny our own role in the conflict because self-examination is so shocking and painful, and because we're secretly rewarded by the problem we're complaining about."

  • "We all have far more power than we think to transform troubled relations--if we're willing to stop blaming the other person and focus instead on changing ourselves".

Feeling Good Together Book Summary

Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships WorkFeeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships WorkFeeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work

Dr. Burns starts off Feeling Book Together by dispelling the myth that people experience relationship difficulties because they lack the proper interpersonal skills. Or they just need to be taught how to communicate better. Unfortunately, interpersonal skills and "effective communication" is not enough to have a successful, happy and satisfying relationships.

 The real secret to making troubled relationships work is learning to to stop blaming your partner and finding the truth in what they are communicating. This secret is easy to remember with the acronym "EAR." EAR stands for Empathy, Assertiveness, and Respect.

  • Empathy: Acknowledge the other person's feelings and find some truth in what he or she is saying. This techniques is used to "disarm" the other person not so you can take advantage of them but as a way of saying I want us to get along.

  • Assertiveness: Express your feelings openly, directly, and tactfully. By using "I" statements you remove the accusatory tone from the conversation and avoid putting the other person on the defensive.

    Respect: Convey caring and respect, even if you're irritated or annoyed with the other person. We all want to be respected by others. We must give it in order to get it.

While I sure these concepts appears obviously simple and you areFeel good together Pinterest Image probably think you already do them, Dr. Burns is able to show the reader how they often fall short of conveying these concepts in their relationships.

One technique that he uses to help reader assess how well they are doing with this concept is the relationship journal. The first time I attempted to complete a relationship journal, I failed miserably. However, my failure was able to motivate me to change the way I interact with others.

Recognized your one "failure" is another secret to making troubled relationships work. After you admit your role in the current conflict,  Feeling Good Together, will teach you how to communicate more effectively.

Dr. Burns believes that in order to truly communicate effectively you have to understand your partner's point of view, respect what they are communicating, share how understanding their perspective is making you feel, encourage them to share more, and praise them. Again, all simple concepts. However, with out practice these principles are almost impossible to implement when you are having a disagreement with someone. Which is why  Feeling Good Together is packed with practice activities, as well as profound, user-friendly tools like the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Relationship Journal, the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and much, much more. 

The other thing that is great about Feeling Good Together is that it teaches you how to improve your relationships without the other person's involvement.  While relationships improve the most when both people are working to improve it, there will always be cases where one person is unwilling or unable to work to improve the relationship.  

About the David D. Burns

David D. Burns, MD, is a notable psychiatrist, award-winning researcher, and best-selling author. His first book, Feeling Good has sold 5 million copies globally. More than 50,000 mental health professionals have attended his training programs and his weekly Feeling Good podcast is getting pretty close to 3 million downloads.

Dr. Burns graduated magna cum laude from Amherst College. He then received his MD from the Stanford University School of Medicine. Soon after, he completed his psychiatry residency at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.

He has served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian/University of Pennsylvania Medical Center (1988), and Visiting Scholar at the Harvard Medical School (1998). He is also certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

As a pioneer in the development of cognitive therapy, he has now founded the new TEAM-CBT. This initiative has made it possible for people to make a quick recovery from depression and anxiety.

So if you've ever had questions like, "Why can't my partner ever express his feelings? Why doesn't she ever listen to me? Why does my brother think he can control me? Why does my ex act the way he does? What’s wrong with people?"  This book will give you the answers you seek. It actually provides all the information you need to cultivate more rewarding and intimate relationships.

What Others are Saying About Feeling Good Together 

Feeling Good Together has over 500 reviews on Amazon and the majority of them are amazing. People who have read this book love everything about it and say that it is one of the best tools for mending relationships. 

The book has saved thousands of marriages, families, and even jobs, making it a popular choice in its category.The book also gets lots of praise from fellow mental health professionals and comes highly recommended by both therapists and its readers.

Feeling Good Together enables you to enjoy a more loving and satisfying relationship with all the people you care about which is why we believe it should be required reading for all couples who want to create a happy, healthy relationship

If you are ready to develop healthier, more fulfilled relationships in your life order a copy of  Feeling Good Together, The Secret To Making Troubled Relationships Work today.  You can also check out other books by Dr. Burns via amazon or wherever books are sold.  

Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships WorkFeeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships WorkFeeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships WorkFeeling Good: The New Mood TherapyFeeling Good: The New Mood TherapyFeeling Good: The New Mood TherapyThe Feeling Good HandbookThe Feeling Good HandbookThe Feeling Good HandbookWhen Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your LifeWhen Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your LifeWhen Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your LifeTen Days to Self-EsteemTen Days to Self-EsteemTen Days to Self-EsteemIntimate ConnectionsIntimate ConnectionsIntimate Connections


If you read Feeling Good Together secret making troubled relationships work and still experience relationship difficulties, you many need the help of a mental health professional. You can search our directory of Christian mental health professionals here.

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