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Have you ever been so angry that you acted completely out of character and said or did things you now regret? If you answered yes, you are not alone, many people have done this, and some more often than others. In fact, a large study done in 2015 found that nearly 7.8% of the US population is dealing with anger issues.
This number is alarming and quite scary but the good news is that it can be treated. With enough awareness and information, people can learn to control their anger.
Notice, I didn't say people can learn to stop getting angry, this is because anger is good for you sometimes. Trying to not get angry is a bad idea because there are benefits that come with being angry. The problem is not anger on its own, the problem begins when people are not able to control their anger.
Uncontrolled anger can lead to bad behavior, inner turmoil, and shame. For this reason, it's best to learn about the causes, symptoms, and treatments for anger issues as soon as you suspect you may have them.
What Are The Causes Of Anger Issues?
Nobody ever feels angry for no reason. Anger is a secondary emotion and there is always a reason behind why you feel angry. There are many things that cause anger, too many to mention, but below I'll list some of the most common:
Betrayal
Financial issues
Disappointment
Sadness
Grief
Abuse
Family strife
Feeling unappreciated
Being ignored
Loss of people or things
Suffering or watching people suffer
These are just a few of the hundreds of reasons you could get angry.
Anger could also be caused by mental health conditions like depression, OCD, substance abuse, ADHD, and more.
Types Of Anger Issues
Anger is a complicated emotion and it can be expressed in multiple different ways. All of those expressions, however, can be categorized into 3 types of anger issues: outward, inward, and passive.
Outward Anger Issues
Outward anger issues are the expressions of anger that others can clearly see. For example, when someone yells, throws things, gets violent, or curses, they're expressing outward anger.
One example of outward anger in the Bible can be found in Numbers 20. In this scripture, the Israelites were complaining because they needed water. Moses lashed out at the people and struck a rock that God asked him to speak to in order to get water. His outward expression of anger toward the people led him to disobey God, which is not what he wanted to do. Anger issues expressed outwardly can do this to anyone.
It can ruin relationships and make you do things you really don't want to do, that's why it's important to learn how to control it.
Inward Anger Issues
Inward anger issues are a lot more private. It's the type of anger that you feel deeply yet nobody sees. This type of anger hurts you a lot more than it hurts others and can lead to self-loathing, negative self-talk, feelings of unworthiness, and insecurity.
Moses is an example of inward anger issues as well. In Exodus 3, when God first asked Moses to speak to Pharoah about freeing the Israelites, he argued with God. He felt too insecure and unworthy to go. He too was in Egypt before his anger led him to kill a man. He used the fact that he couldn't speak well as an excuse but it was his inward anger issues that scared him the most. He didn't feel worthy after all he had done and felt.
The same happens with many people today. When God is giving them an assignment, their inward anger is giving them all the reasons they won't be able to do it.
Passive Anger Issues
A passive anger issue is when you act like everything is normal again when in fact it is not. It's when you arbor the anger within you and act normal to the face of those you are angry with. This type of anger is the one that causes people with anger issues to make snarky remarks under their breath or to say hurtful things and play it off as a joke.
A Biblical example of a passive-aggressive person is Absalom, King David's son. Absalom killed his brother so his father banished him from the kingdom. He was angry but not outwardly angry this time. This time he had passive anger. He wanted revenge but to get his revenge he acted like a good guy who only wanted the best for the people. He faked compassion and love for the people in the kingdom while his heart burned with anger and his plan worked, he won the hearts of the people (2 Samuel 15:6).
Passive aggressiveness didn't end with Absolom, people still struggle with passive anger today. This is the most dangerous type of anger because it is prolonged and unseen. It can consume you and hurt others in a way they didn't see coming which is why it needs to be treated quickly.
Symptoms Of Anger Issues
Anger issues always come with symptoms. These symptoms are easy to identify, and you will see them every time you get angry. If you see them often, and to a severe degree, you may be dealing with anger issues.
Physical Symptoms Of Anger
Increased heart rate
High blood pressure
Muscle tension
Chest tightness
Clenching of fists or jaw
Dizziness
Lightheadedness
Emotional Symptoms Of Anger
Impulsiveness
Lack of control
Depression
Impatience
Guilt
Anxiety
Irritability
Spiritual Symptoms Of Anger
Praying vengeful prayers
Trying to justify wrong acts with scripture
Feeling distant from God
Feeling unworthy of your calling
What Are Signs Of Anger Issues
If you think you have anger issues, you probably do. Still, it's always best to learn more to know for sure. Over and above the above symptoms, you will see these signs if you have anger issues:
You cause harm to others through your words and actions, or in your mind
People with anger issues almost always cause harm to others. If you have harmed someone or are always thinking of harming someone you may have anger issues.
Your prayers are always asking for vengeance
Another one of the major signs of anger issues is always asking for vengeance in your prayers. Your anger is always on your mind even while you're talking to God.
You frequently regret your actions
People with anger problems always end up regretting their actions. They do things they regret in a fit of rage, things they wouldn't do if they were able to control their anger.
You are stuck in the past
It's hard to move forward when you're still angry. This is why people with anger issues are still stuck in the past. If you're always thinking about your past hurt and not living in your present joy you may be dealing with anger issues.
You dislike yourself
When dealing with anger issues it's easy to do things you'll regret later on. This will lead to disliking yourself for the things you've done and it's another sign of anger issues.
You dislike others
People with anger issues are usually very impatient and easily angered. This makes them dislike others because it's extremely hard for others to meet their expectations.
You are easily dissatisfied or disappointed
If you're easily dissatisfied or disappointed you may be dealing with anger issues. This is also a significant sign because disappointment is one of the causes of anger. If you're easily disappointed you will be dealing with anger a lot more often than you should.
You're easily irritated
Similar to being easily disappointed, people with anger issues are easily irritated. The smallest of things can irritate you and make you angry.
You are unhappy
Most people with anger issues are unhappy. This is because even though anger can be good, harboring those feelings is never good. You're always thinking about negative things and are usually in conflict. This kind of life makes you seriously unhappy.
Where to Get Help For Anger Issues
Dealing with anger is not easy. Especially if it's ruining your relationships and quality of life. Still, there is hope. You do not have to live a life with anger issues, help is always within reach. You can learn to manage your anger in different ways, like this biblical approach for example. You could also get help and medication from a therapist if that is what you need. You deserve a life that is not controlled by anger, and you will surely get there, one step at a time.
For more resources on anger issues check out our recommendation below:
Teaching Christ's Children About Feeling Angry
Anger: Taming a Powerful EmotionUprooting Anger: Help for a Common ProblemOvercoming Emotions that Destroy:
About the Author:
Corine Williams, Ph.D. is Clinical Psychologist that is currently seeing clients in the States of Maryland, New Jersey, and New York. You can find out more about her practice by visiting www.therapyforchristians.com/corinewilliams. In addition to providing individual therapy, Dr. Williams is also passionate about writing books and designing merchandise that educate, uplift, and normalize mental health subject in the Christian community. You can find out more about her at www.booksbycorine.com or by visiting her amazon profile here: https://www.amazon.com/Corine-Hyman/e/B00AWZ5FL2
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Disclaimer: the information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this article are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are looking for a Christian counselor near you, please check out our directory located here: Christians Therapist Near Me
