Dealing with difficult people in this world is inevitable. No one in the world is perfect and we're all born with a sinful nature. Fortunately, after coming to Christ, many of us have been able to resist that nature and be more like Jesus. Still, it's not always easy, so we often end up being difficult or dealing with difficult people at work, church or even in our own home. 

Now, the Bible says that we should overcome evil with good. It says we should never avenge ourselves and let God avenge us instead. It says we should love our enemies and pray for the people who persecute us (Matt 5:44). 

But we are human, so there are only two ways we could possibly do what the Bible says when dealing with a difficult person day in and day out. One way is with the help of the Holy Spirit and the other is by following strategies that are proven to work.

The fact is no matter how close to God we are, dealing with unreasonable people can be stressful and exhausting. Being Christian does not make us immune to the stress that comes from those encounters. That's why in order to follow what the Bible says and keep our sanity in the process, it's important to know what to do.

So here are 7 strategies for equip yourself to better deal with a difficult person. These strategies will help you significantly reduce your stress levels in these stressful situations.

Prepare Yourself 

One of the only good things about dealing with the same difficult people every day is the fact that you probably know what's going to happen. Use this to your advantage and prepare yourself to deal with the situation. If you already know what’s going to happen as well as what you can do if it does, you won't panic when it happens.

Take your Power Back 

To deal with difficult people effectively, you need take your power back.  Difficult people control what they do but only you can control how you react. Don't allow anyone to have so much power over you that they control your attitude. Instead, take your power back by approaching the situation the way you choose to. Just knowing that you have more control over the situation than they do will reduce your stress levels.

Be an Observer 

The thing about dealing with stressful people is that it's really easy to get instantly stressed around them. One way to avoid being instantly stressed is to become an observer. This means trying to observe from an outside perspective instead of reacting emotionally. Try to figure out what this person does to stress you out all the time. Ask yourself why they might be doing it. Try to understand the underlying reasons of why they do what they do. It won't be easy, but if you figure it out, it will totally be worth it.

Separate Your Emotions from Theirs 

It is not uncommon to imitate the emotions of a difficult person, this is one of the things that cause you stress. If that person is speaking to you angrily, you become angry. If that person comes to you with negativity every day, you start feeling negative. So decide today that you will go into every interaction with your own emotions and not mimic the other person's behavior. If they're angry, you'll be calm. If they're spreading negativity, you'll spread positivity. This decision and your reaction to their antics might even completely change the way they interact with you moving forward.

Pin ItFocus on the Good Parts 

When dealing with a difficult person, try to find the good in who they are or what they're doing. Not only will this distract you from the things that usually trigger stress, but you might actually find something good that you didn't notice before.

Don't Overthink It 

Difficult people are usually difficult with everyone, so another strategy to deal with difficult people is to try not to take it personally. Even if you have reason to believe that they are only difficult with you, don't dwell on what they say and do. This will only prolong the agony that you weren't even supposed to be feeling. Instead, choose to dismiss what just happened and focus on the more positive people and things in your life.

Cut it Out 

If you've prayed for this person. Tried everything on this list. Done everything you could and this negative person is still too difficult to deal with, it might be time to cut ties. Some people just aren't meant to be a part of our lives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with breaking out of toxic relationships. The Bible says that we are to live in peace and harmony with people as far as possible. But it also says that bad company ruins good morals (1 Cor 15:33). 

Final Takeaway When Dealing with A Difficult Person

If you know it's time to let go and the Holy Spirit is with you on it, let go. Sometimes this is the best decision you can make.

Remember though that no one is perfect. Try your best to first extend the grace that was given to you. Allow yourself to empathize with difficult people and try to see the pain that causes them to act the way they act. Pray for them. Pray for yourself every time you need to interact with them. Use all of these strategies to reduce your stress levels when dealing with unreasonable people but at the end of the day allow God to be God. 

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you in every interaction or to lead you out when it's time. Do all that you can in your own power but leave room for God to do what you can't.

Life isn't always easy, and difficult people will come in and out of your life. But take heart in the fact that God loves you and He will not allow you to experience any more than you can bear. Not only are you capable enough to deal with these people but you're capable enough to help them too.

If you are looking for additional information about dealing with difficult people, check out our recommendations below:

Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People: Over 325 Ready-to-Use PhrasesHow to cope with difficult people: Making human relations harmonious and effectiveBoundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your LifeSafe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

About the Author: 

Corine Williams, Ph.D. is Clinical Psychologist that is currently seeing clients in the States of Maryland, New Jersey, and New York. You can find out more about her practice by visiting  www.therapyforchristians.com/corinewilliams.  In addition to providing individual therapy, Dr. Williams is also passionate about writing books and designing merch that educate, uplift, and normalize mental health subjects in the Christian community. You can find out more about her at  www.booksbycorine.com or by visiting her amazon profile here: https://www.amazon.com/Corine-Hyman/e/B00AWZ5FL2

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