What Every Mother Should Know About Feeling Exhausted and Depleted Mother Syndrome

One truth that is rarely talked about is just how exhausted Christian moms really are. We get into a routine of taking care of the husband, the kids, the home, and may even have a side gig to tend as well. However, we sometime forget to how to take care of our mental health as a mom, and this is just one the difficulties mothers struggle with.

The truth of the matter is, there are more exhausted moms than we think and yet we remain silent about our struggles. In fact there is even a special term for the exhaustion that many mothers experience "depleted mother syndrome" which is also known by many other names including mommy burnout; exhausted mother syndrome, mom burnout, mom fatigue, overwhelmed mom syndrome.  If this sounds like you, keep reading for practical tips you can begin implementing today to help relieve some of the exhaustion you are feeling.

What is Depleted Mother Syndrome?

You probably have heard about people being burnout from their professional jobs.  However, most of us do not think about the fact that mothers can become burnout from mothering.  When this happens, it is known as depleted mother syndrome (DMS).  Exhausted mother syndrome is a type of exhaustion that arises when a parent feels physical, mental and emotional separation from the family and overburdened by their responsibilities. Fears of not being good enough, losing control, and losing a sense of self are also common among weary mothers.

While depleted mother syndrome can occur at any time, women are more vulnerable to this condition when they are pregnant and during postpartum depression. However, the fact that most mothers are on call 24 hours a day , without sick days, mental health days, weekends, or vacations make all mothers vulnerable. Particularly in today's society where the roles of the mother include: coordinator of home life, social life, and children; counsellor, event organizer, playmate, cook, cleaner, shopper, book-keeper, extended family liaison, night watcher, lover, etc. Many mothers also work full-time jobs.

Exhausted mother syndrome unlike professional burnout, cannot be remedied by changing jobs or quitting the workplace. There's a clear feeling of being stuck in a circumstance with no obvious way out. However, I want to suggest five different ways you can help yourself (or the mother in your life below).

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What does Mom Burnout Feel Like?

Emotional exhaustion appears to be the most well-known symptom of mommy burnout, and it can manifest in various ways. However, researchers discovered that the theme of fear was prevalent in all aspects of parental burnout for mothers, from the fear of not being a good enough mother to the fear related to their children's future, and experiencing a loss of one's sense of self in the context of family life. This fear can also contribute to difficulty concentrating.

Some mothers also reported that they feel like they are over their child. Others described feeling emotionally distancing from their child and a loss of pleasure in parenting. In extreme cases, the mother may resent her child. These emotional struggles, coupled with sleep deprivation, can make mommy burnout particularly challenging to navigate.

How to Recover From Mom Burnout

It’s not that we were never meant to be tired, stressed, or overwhelmed - it’s just that we’re not supposed to let it fester. In other words, these feelings and emotions are much like check engine lights that let us know when part of the car needs maintenance. Just like a car, our mind, body, and soul need maintenance as well.

A perfectly tuned car will still have to drive over bumps, up hills, and may even hit a pothole or two, but it can still drive just fine. Similarly, we will encounter circumstances and situations that feel like bumps, hills, and holes, but we can learn how to navigate them. Below are a few tips to help you see things a bit differently and combat exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm, and ultimately recover from mom burnout while prioritizing your mental and physical health.  

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Take time for yourself.

By the time we reach the level of exhaustion, we would already have needed that alone time, that spa day, or coffee with a girlfriend. Instead of waiting for that to desperately be needed, pre-plan time to take for yourself. Make it part of your monthly planning and be consistent. By doing so, your family will already know, “This Thursday is when Mom has coffee with her friend!” It won’t be a surprise and it will be something you have to look forward to.

Establish a devotional time.

Even if you start with 15 minutes every other day, that is better than nothing at all. Most moms agree that waking up a little before everyone else or staying up a few minutes later at night provide the best devotional time. If you don’t have a dedicated journal, you can always start with a particular book of bible to read, pray, and journal about. The overall goal is to establish alone time with you and God to stay centered and focused on His will for your life.

Find a Mom’s group, mentor, and/or accountability partner.

You may be thinking there’s not enough time in the day, let alone the week, to squeeze in another “thing.” But that’s just it… in order to truly get a handle on exhaustion, we need to be okay with adding things that help. In other words, prioritize what’s important. Your health and well-being should always be at the top of the list. It’s been said many times before, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Make sure you are being poured into and taking the time to fill your own tank. Having a friends support support groups, mentors, and accountability partners are ways to help defrag, receive prayer, and even have an additional listening ear.

Check your priorities.

Speaking of priorities, you may want to check yours and those of your family to see if anything needs to change. Sometimes we can get settled with the mundane schedule or routines that aren’t actually working for us. If by lunch time, you’re already stressed and ready for the day to be over, that’s a strong indicator that something in your morning isn’t working. Take a look at each part of your day and try to identify any triggers. Have a talk as a family and discuss anything that needs adjusting.

Make health and wellness a family affair.

This tip is all about teaching your children the importance of taking care of yourself and understanding a mother's emotional sensitivity. These are things that aren’t taught to most kids, and they end up figuring it out much later in life. Don’t let this be the case for your kids. It will also help alleviate any guilt associated with wanting to do things that are self-care related. Part of our exhaustion is rooted in feeling bad for asking for a day at the spa or something else that makes us happy.

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Final Thoughts on Depleted Mother Syndrome 

Each of these tips are about as practical as they come. As with anything in life, we only need to make the choice and then go from there. While each of these may be a little much to tackle all at once, just start with one at a time. Slowly make the changes necessary so you can decrease your feelings of exhaustion. When exhausted Christian moms realize their need for help and change, they become better women, wives, and mothers. If no one has told you… you are worth it! 

If you try the above strategies and are still struggling with feeling overwhelmed, it is time to seek help from a Christian therapist near you.  

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About the Author:

Michelle Huddleston is a wife, homeschooling mom, and successful mompreneur. She is a ghostwriter/copywriter and a Marketing Executive Director for North America's largest online store. Michelle has a variety of homeschooling resources available in her TPT Store and on Amazon. Be sure to join her thriving Facebook Group and connect with her on Instagram.

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Disclaimer: the information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this article are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are looking for a Christian counselor near you, please check out our directory located here: Christians Therapist Near Me