How to Help Your Child Make Good Decisions- Five lessons From Esther

5 Biblical Lessons from the book of Esther to Help Your Child Make Good Decisions

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this? ~ Esther 4:14 NIV

The above Bible verse is one of the most well known verses in the Book of Esther. It is the advices Mordecai gave Queen Esther when you had to make a decision to approach King Xerxes.

The thing I love about the story of Esther is that it shows us how God sometimes wants us to be strategic. Yes, we serve a miracle working God. He can perform miracle after miracle without any intervention or assistance from us. However, most of the time he choses to work through us.

As parents, we can’t force our kids to do what is right but we can guide them into making good decisions. . . To be used by God. Mordecai’s approach to Esther gives us significant clues on how to guide our children to make good decisions.   Therefore, I believe the Book of Esther can be used to give us insight into how to help our children make good decisions.

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1. Express your concern          

Mordecai first expressed his concern in the Book of Esther. We need to communicate our concerns to our children (Esther 4:1-5).           

Most children, especially in this day and age are rebellious to commands, they hate being told what to do. But there is no child, even today that will turn a deaf ear to a truly concerned parent. It is a lot more effective to show that we are truly troubled about something than it is to utter commands.  

2. Be sure your child understands the situation  

Mordecai explained the situation to Esther (Esther4:6-8a). We need to be rational and patient rather than relying on “because I said so!” or even “because the Bible says so.”                        

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe we should obey the Bible at all times, but I also know we have to trust and rely on God who will ultimately minister to our children and allow His Word to speak to their heart. 

Even we adults need to understand a situation in order to know what to do next. Yes, as a parent we have a duty to point our children in the right direction. Proverbs 22:6 clearly tells us to "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Train, not dictate. If our children grow up listening without understanding, how will they know what to do when we aren't around to tell them? 

3. Urge Your Child to Act

Mordecai urged Esther to act (4:8b). This word is significant. Mordecai realized that he couldn’t force Esther to act. He recognized that the choice was hers. He urged, but Esther had to decide for herself. 

When our children are young, we could probably get away with forcing them to heed to our choices. But when they get older, they will come to know that they have a right to make their own decisions. This might cause them to rebel against us because they're human too and when they become young adults who understand their freedom of choice, they will want to use it. 

This is why it's so important for us to urge instead of force. So that when they grow older they will know that we never took away their freedom of choice but instead always urged them to make the right choices.                                      

4. Trust in God’s Power.

Mordecai expressed confidence in the Lord (4:12-14). Deliverance would come, even if Esther chose not to act.                        

We are the first examples our children have, growing up they look up to us, we are the ones who set the bar for what is possible in their lives. If we express our confidence in God, our children will surely express that same confidence. Moreover, they will learn early in life that no matter what they choose to, it is the Lord who will determine their path (Proverbs 16:9).     

5. Offer support.

Finally, Mordecai offered support. Esther needed to know that Mordecai and the community of faith were behind her (Esther 4:15-17). 

We have grown up, we have had our own children and we still need support. Knowing that God, our parents, pastors, family, and friends are there for us when we need them gives us more confidence in our daily decisions.                        

If we rely so much on the support of others, imagine how much more our children need it. We need to constantly remind them that they are supported. They need to know that when they take a stand for what is right, they will not stand alone. They need to be confident in the fact that no matter what happens, we will be there for them.    

Final thoughts on Lessons from Esther             

The above lessons from the Book of Esther offer valuable insights for effective parenting and guiding our children's decision-making. Esther's story emphasizes expressing genuine concern, fostering understanding, encouraging independent action, trusting in a higher power, and providing unwavering support.

As parents, we can communicate our concerns with sincerity, ensuring our children feel valued and understood. By explaining situations rationally, we promote informed decision-making and responsible choices.

Empowering children to take autonomous action builds their confidence and decision-making skills, while instilling faith in a higher purpose helps them navigate life's challenges with resilience.

Lastly, creating a strong support system assures our children that they are not alone, fostering courage and determination in their choices.

Incorporating these lessons into parenting equips our children to make sound decisions, guiding them toward a future filled with wisdom, strength, and success, much like Esther's triumphant journey celebrated during Purim.

One last fact about the Book of Esther. It is also the reason why Jews celebrate the Jewish festivity of Purim each year.

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About the Author: 

Corine Williams, Ph.D. is Clinical Psychologist that is currently seeing clients in the States of Maryland, New Jersey, and New York. You can find out more about her practice by visiting www.therapyforchristians.com/corinewilliams. In addition to providing individual therapy, Dr. Williams is also passionate about writing books and designing merchandise that educate, uplift, and normalize mental health subject in the Christian community. You can find out more about her at  www.booksbycorine.com or by visiting her amazon profile here:  https://www.amazon.com/Corine-Hyman/e/B00AWZ5FL2

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