Five Ways to Replace Your Judgement with Curiosity

Do you find yourself constantly judging your situations, yourself, and others even though you know you're not supposed to? You are not alone.

As Christians, we know that the Bible commands us not to judge. Matthew 7:1 says, "Judge not, that you be not judged." However, as human beings, we know that this is not easy. Oftentimes, our first instinct is to judge. This is because there is a strange connection between judgment and our feelings. The way we feel in the moment plays a huge role in the way we judge that moment.

Like this content on FacebookFor example, if I'm a learner driver who is still quite nervous on the road and someone speeds past me, I'd naturally get more nervous and maybe even angry. I'd instantly assume that they're a reckless driver who does not deserve a drivers license. I would end up judging a person I don't even know for one simple act I saw them make. For all I know, they could have been driving that fast to get somewhere in time to save someone’s life. This is the problem with judgment, we're often wrong and we don't even give ourselves a chance to realize it.

That's where nonjudgemental curiosity comes in. See, curiosity drives growth where judgment stumps it. When we judge, we assume that we are right and it ends there, but when we're curious we learn more. Therefore, if we choose to be curious instead of judgmental, our lives would be so much better.

Choosing curiosity over judgment enables us to offer more empathy, more patience, and more understanding, not just to others but to ourselves as well.Pin It

Reasons Why You Should Not Judge

You judge according to the flesh; I judge no one. Yet even if I do judge, my judgment is true, for it is not I alone who judge, but I and the Father who sent me. - John 8:15-16

The biggest reason for us not to judge is obviously because the Word of God tells us not to. God can judge because He sees and knows everything, but we cannot because we do not.

The truth is, as a human being, you can't possibly understand a person or situation well enough to judge it fairly or correctly. This is why most judgments end up being inaccurate, unfair, unkind, or all of the above.

Related post: 7 Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People

When we allow judgment to be our first response we prevent the Holy Spirit from showing us what that feeling or situation really means and what God is trying to teach us through it.

Judging helps no one, not the person who is judging nor the person who is being judged, it's just a waste of the time and wisdom God gave us.

Benefits of Nonjudgemental Curiosity

There are many benefits to practicing nonjudgemental curiosity, here are a few:

• It helps you see things from a new perspective.
• It helps you understand situations better.
• It helps you better connect with others.
• It helps you feel better in certain situations.
• It gives the Holy Spirit space to speak to you.
• It helps you learn more about people.
• It helps you learn more about life.
• It helps you react in a more compassionate way.
• It opens up new opportunities and possibilities.

Choosing to respond with curiosity, not judgment can do all of this and more. Life automatically gets better when we let go of judgment because God created us to love, not to judge.

Replacing Judgement - Practical Ways To Cultivate Nonjudgmental Curiosity

 1. Take the time to learn about people. Instead of judging others for the way they act, speak, or think, try and get to know them. You'll often be surprised at what you learn.

2. Investigate the situation. Instead of judging the situations in your life as good or bad, let curiosity take over. Ask yourself why you might be feeling that way. Are you judging it as bad solely because it turned out differently than you expected?

3. Find out more. Before judging a person or situation, try to find out more. We often judge without a clue on what's really happening or has happened behind the scenes.

4. Be more open-minded. Try new things. Ask more questions. Set an intention to look at everything from different perspectives.

5. Even if you judge, be curious. We often beat ourselves up when we catch ourselves being judgmental. Instead of beating yourself up about it, get curious. Ask yourself why. Why did I end up judging today? Why am I beating myself up about it now? This will help you flip the switch from judgment to curiosity.

As you begin to practice nonjudgemental curiosity today, remember that even if you falter at times, it's okay. We may be inclined to judging, but God is prone to forgiving. He sees our intentions and will honor us for even trying to stop judging. 

Keep practicing, and soon enough curiosity will be your first response, not judgment.

About the Author: 
 Corine Williams, Ph.D. is Clinical Psychologist that is currently seeing clients in the States of Maryland, New Jersey, and New York. You can find out more about her practice by visiting www.therapyforchristians.com/corinewilliams. In addition to providing individual therapy, Dr. Williams is also passionate about writing books and designing merchandise that educate, uplift, and normalize mental health subject in the Christian community. You can find out more about her at  www.booksbycorine.com or by visiting her amazon profile here:  https://www.amazon.com/Corine-Hyman/e/B00AWZ5FL2

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